One truth I find somewhat interesting is that, if you are always silent and going about your business without complains, the people around you will take it that you have no problems and everything is well with you. It’s very true; I have experienced it firsthand.
Sometime ago in school, I was very quiet, going about my school work and trying to figure out things for myself by myself. One day, a friend of mine complained to me about having issues understanding a particular course, while we were talking about it, I told her that I had a similar problem in the past. She scoffed,
“you? Do you even have problems?”
I had laughed and asked why she would think that, obviously I have problems,
“everybody is bound to have problems at some point!” I had said, a bit annoyed
“Well,” she replied, “you act like everything is okay with you all the time, so I just assumed that you have no problems”
In my mind, I had thought,” am I supposed to carry a gong and go around like a town crier announcing every challenge I face before you will know I have problems?”
It’s important that we speak up. In times of pain, tell someone what you are going through. Explain to them how you feel about it, sometimes they may not understand, sometimes they will.
Sometimes they might have solutions to your problems probably because they have gone through the same problem or a problem similar to the one you are facing before, sometimes they won’t and will recommend someone that can help. Sometimes they might share your problems and laugh about you with their other friends, sometimes they won’t. But finally the good outweighs the bad.
You know, speaking up about a challenge to someone in some ways can alleviate the pain you are feeling, what you need might just be a listening ear, a person to whom you can vent.
There are certain issues I have been through that I already knew the solutions to them but still needed someone to talk to, I just needed someone to understand what I was going through, to just listen.
Some of us feel like our problems are unsolvable. Another set of us feel that no one would understand what we are going through, so what is the point of sharing the problem?
I once had difficulty understanding a course that was generally considered simple. I thought it was embarrassing, that no one would understand that it wasn’t as easy for me as it was for others. One day while I was studying I got approached by a senior colleague, after exchanging pleasantries, he asked about my studies, to which I quickly answered “everything is fine”
“Are you sure?” he asked, “talk now o, not when exam will reach now and you will start complaining”
“No”, I said, then went on to share my plight. After listening, he recommended a textbook I had no idea about, even went on to send the soft copy of the textbook to me and that book practically saved me in that course.
It is good to speak up. Sometimes hard, but worth it. If you are confused, in pain, faced with challenges you can’t tackle on your own or you simply need a listening ear, then speak to someone you can trust.
If you are shy or uncomfortable about speaking up, say you are uncomfortable about speaking and then speak up anyway.